If there’s one thing I’m terrible at, it’s insulting people. There are a couple of reasons for this. Firstly, I’m not a horrible person and I really dislike offending people and secondly, I’m not good at comebacks so combining a swear word or similar with a well-loved food item is my usual go to. Prepare yourself for the burn as we tell you about Oh… Sir!! The Insult Simulator and Oh…Sir! The Hollywood Roast for the Nintendo Switch from Vile Monarch.
Now we actually came across The Insult Simulator on PSN a couple of days prior to being told about the Switch versions and I found the concept to be ridiculous and Kuniku actually bought it for us to play on the Playstation. The concept is simple. You pick a character and go up against your opponent taking it in turns to build an insult with the options available to you. Easy right? Well, it’s not if you start to build your insult and your opponent slides in and steals what you wanted to put next which either leaves you in a grammatical pickle or with the lamest finish which could affect your points. It’s a boxing match but you hurl insults at each other rather than throwing punches. The aim is to insult your opponent to knock them down in order to be crowned the winner and outright worst person.
So how do you build an insult? Well, I personally like to make it personal by starting off by picking on ‘your face’ or ‘your mum’ (depending on what is available) and then insulting the way they dress or calling out that they had an affair with a smelly person. Grammar is important and the game will punish you if you aren’t paying attention by giving you some damage. You don’t just have insult components that both players will fight over though, you have the option of two personal options which only you can access and throw into the mix if needed. If you manage to end a sentence properly, usually in the form of something similar to ‘and that’s all there is to say about that!’, you could potentially grab yourself some extra points and these are in your personal section pile. You also have the option to swap these out once per turn in case there isn’t one that sits right with you. If you fancy, you also have a chance to continue your turn! If you don’t feel like your insult is ready and the ‘[…]’ is an option, you can delay your turn and get a chance to continue building your insult. Be warned though, if your opponent hits you hard enough with their hurtful words, you’ll forget what you were saying and have to start again!
It’s rare for an insult to make a whole lot of sense. In fact, sometimes, going for the most obscure thing can get you some bonus points if you manage to throw it together well enough. It’s also worthwhile trying to use part of an insult again as this unlocks the combo and gets you some additional points. In real life if you were to follow a ‘your mum’ insult with another ‘your mum’ sentence, you would get laughed at and possibly called a loser but in Oh…Sir! It’s guaranteed points, so do it when you get the chance! Taking hits also will unlock the ‘Comeback’ ability which you can use to finish off an insult in the vain hope of a few extra points to knock your enemy down a peg or two. Dependant on how your meter is looking, you might get two or even three comebacks in a round so use them when you get the opportunity. If you both get down to no hit points, there’s sudden death cliffhanger for your last chance to win. That’s pretty much it and to be honest, it doesn’t really need a whole lot more than that. And so you embark on your quest to insult everyone you can while trying to complete challenges in order to unlock more characters to offend people with!
What makes The Insult Simulator different to The Hollywood Roast is the fact that the latter is based on well-known movie stars or characters who then proceed to try and roast each other. While I did enjoy playing The Insult Simulator, I found myself playing more of the Hollywood Roast because of the additional humour factor of having a wizard who resembles Gandalf opening up his robe to show some pink panties which exclaiming an elderly Marilyn Monroe’s mum took the Hobbits to Isengard. It’s fun and silly, which is sometimes what we all need to relax and unwind. While you do get a little treat of H.P. Lovecraft in The Insult Simulator which is simply delightful if you enjoy seeing him unleash his tentacles at his opponents, I do prefer The Hollywood Roast for the familiarity content wise and would pick this to play with friends mainly to see their reactions to the behaviour of the stars.
My only issues with the games are that it would have been great to have different scripted intros for each battle as once you’ve played through twice, you end up skipping to the battle and ignoring the build-up which is a bit of a shame. The choices also get a little repetitive at times, which is fine for combos but an extended insult catalogue would be great just to offer up a few more choices across both titles. I did notice a few typos and on occasion the tense of the sentences (was/were for example) didn’t change based on my choices leaving me without an option while the CPU blasted me with their insults. It could get repetitive quite quickly if you decide to play through all of the characters on your own so once you’ve done a couple, it’s probably only going to get played if someone asks what it is giving you the upper hand to destroy your friends.
Both The Insult Simulator and The Hollywood Roast are silly games which can be utilised as pick up and play when you want to kill some time and have a giggle at the same time or as a party game with friends either in a couch battle or online. It’s simple yet effective in its delivery but can be repetitive which may reduce the replay factor unless someone wishes to challenge you to a duel. As with many of these smaller, indie titles being available on the Switch is a great move for the developers and for Nintendo. Both titles are available on Steam, Android, App store, Playstation, Xbox and now the Nintendo Switch eShop.