The 5 hardest bosses I’ve ever faced – Memoirs of a Gamer




Following my post on Facebook yesterday, I decided to compile a list of bosses I love to Hate. Have a look and then let me know in the comments what bosses have owned your ass over the years.

5. Lu Bu – Dynasty Warriors 5 (XBOX 360) – Yellow Turban Rebellion



My adventures in Dynasty Warriors always seemed to go well until I came up against the formidable Lu Bu. I always liked to roll as Zhao Yun, wielding my trusty spear and running down those troublesome rebels…

It is near the end of the first stage, “The Yellow Turban Rebellion,” that Liu Biu appears for the first time. He doesn’t look so tough, and besides, he’s only an optional officer boss. You naive fools, I charged him, spear in hand, 500 kills+ under my belt and then boom,  I was dead in 3 hits.

He’s a risk/reward boss as take him down and you are looking at legendary weapon drops and bags of XP. Fail and well…you die…albeit in spectacular fashion to a worthy adversary.

4. GLaDOS – Portal 2 (XBOX 360)



The thing about GLaDOS is…well…it’s kind of hard not to like *insert gender noun for a sentient being with no assigned gender here**.  The whole of the game in both Portal 1 and 2 you are being torn, twisted and tormented (sometimes in the most hilarious ways) and this is what make GLaDOS such an incredible adversary.

The dark satirical comedy that comes into play, more so in Portal 2, is a prime example of how an enemy can defeat you mentally before having to ever face you in combat. To be fair, the actual fighting sequences are based around the same puzzle solving basis that the rest of the games are based on and  not massively challenging.

GLaDOS makes the list for making me laugh and then regret laughing straight away.

Cake anyone?

3. The Mad God – Realm of the Mad God (PC/Steam)


This is a must get for anyone who loves a good old fashioned 8-bit RPG ass-kicking by a massive mad god. The Realm of the Mad God is populated by 8-bit incarnations of some of the most bug-ugly yet terrifying monstrosities with never ending life bars that I have ever faced.

Yet the Mad-God takes all of the credit. He will only appear if certain conditions are met and then it normally results in a 50-1 melee where all of you will die. I have never once beaten the Mad-God and good luck to anyone who can.

Oh yeah, and throw permadeath into the equation and you’ll see what I’m talking about…

2. Bell Tower Gargoyles – Dark Souls (XBOX 360)


The true inspiration for this article are the Bell Tower Gargoyles from the Undead Chapel in Dark Souls. I tell no lie when I say I bought and sold this game at least twice before I took them down. The first time I faced them, my partner was 3 months pregnant with our daughter. By the time I took them down (it was about 2am in the morning, on a Saturday and it was raining outside) my crys of elation woke our then 6 month old little girl. Never before nor since have I faced an adversary so cruel and unforgiving. After this point the game seemed to take the hint that I hated it and let up, until I came up across Ornstein and Smough…

Needless to say I never returned to Undead Chapel ad when I found the same gargoyles (x6) in Dark Souls 2, I turned the other way and said, “F*ck that sh*t.”

1. The Scorpion King – The Mummy Returns (PS2)


This game broke my childhood.

I LOVED “The Mummy” films and then when a game came out for the Playstation 2, I couldn’t wait until Christmas! I tore of the wrapping, threw it into the machine, sat patiently and then played the whole game through twice with both characters stopping at the last stage because I was constantly being butt-f*cked by a computer iteration of a CGI scorpion with the head of my wrestling idol, The Rock.

Ask my Sister and she will tell you that that level became legend in my house. I never beat the Scorpion King. I watched myself die over and over and over again. It was not until earlier this year I discovered there was actually a glitch in the game that stopped you from hurting him.

I will cling to that as my PS2 now lies forgotten in my parents loft (and it’s too much effort to retrieve it…) Farewell, Scorpion King…you bastard…


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